"Once upon a time, there were three brothers!”
“No no, ‘There were Once three brothers!’”
“That’s not it either. ‘Legend tells of three brothers!’”
“There was once a long-suffering girl, who in desperation at having to babysit her three cretinous older brothers, decided to take them for a walk in the Talking Forest, where they all got eaten by monsters because they couldn’t keep their stupid mouths shut and be quiet. Do we like that one? Or shall we discuss that as a committee too?”.
The three fell silent, and in line, each hastily pocketing anything about their person that might make noise as they entered the Talking Forest. The light fell significantly as they entered the cover of the trees, and at first Amelia had to try really hard to hide her apprehension. If she faltered, the boys didn’t notice it because they were too busy looking round for things with eyes, or worse still, legs. She had no idea which way the Telling Trees were to be found, but she instinctively felt like confidence would be rewarded, and so made a path in what looked like the best way to the middle of the forest.
“How will we know when we’re there?”
“The trees will be talking, doofus”.
“Yeah, but, they don’t talk all the time, do they? They tell people one definite truth. They’re not going to just spend all day every day shouting out random personal information to the whole world, are they, doofus?”
“They might do”.
“They wouldn’t be the Telling Trees then they’d be the Never Bloody Shuts Up Trees”.
“We don’t only talk to tell people the truth”.
All three boys jumped several feet in the air, each mimicking their own choice of startled exotic bird with their screeches. They were half an hour into the forest, and on noticing that her brothers had relaxed enough to start flapping their faces again, Amelia decided to remind them where they were, and why.
“Cretins and doofuses, all of you. We’ll know we’re there because we’ll just know. If they even exist, they’re supposed to be at the centre of the forest, and that’s where we’re heading. So we’ll either come back the same way, with our answers, or we’ll eventually find the other side of the forest and know it was all hogwash. Either way, you loafs will have had some exercise, and whether they exist or not, we’ll have a better chance of knowing we’re there if you cease your incessant verbosity”.
“You always tell me not to seize my incessant verbosity in public!” “She means shut up, numnuts”.
Amelia is unsure whether the fading light indicates their progress deeper into the forest, or the progress of time, marching as it does, ever on. She hopes the former, as she has no real desire to navigate the forest in the dark. The boys might be useful human shields against anything that lurks here after dark, but they’re so cumbersome they’re as like to be the ones to fear, with their clodhopping and stumbling around in the dark. Better to make haste and not have that to contend with too.
After two hours in the forest, Amelia decided they were deep enough for her to hatch her plan. She kept quiet for a few minutes, and took advantage of the growing dark, to get a few more paces ahead of the boys. Slipping behind a tree, she waited for them to pass, and then started to follow them. It was some time before the first brother noticed that Amelia was gone, and when he realised, he immediately stopped, without warning, and his two brothers continued, all ending up in a squirming, swearing heap. By the time they had all got to their feet, exchanged a few slaps and insults, and established why it was that the first brother had stopped, they had quite forgotten which way they had been walking.
They could not at first decide whether to argue about whose fault it was that Amelia was missing, or about which way they needed to go to find her, or about why there were no sandwiches left. They democratically agreed that the new leader would be chosen process of pugilistic superiority. After several more minutes of eloquent and nuanced debate, Septimus sat atop the the prone form of his brothers Octavius and Quintus. They gracefully accepted him as leader, and paid their tributes in the form of kicking at the backs of his knees every few steps for the next mile, to make sure he did not enjoy being leader, one bit. Amelia followed along, keeping some distance, but always with them in sight. It wasn’t hard to keep up, with the reluctant general being so regularly undermined by his indignant cohort. She knew it was only a matter of time until one of them gave her the prompt she needed.
“I don’t think we’re going to find her”.
“I don’t think we can get home without her”.
“I don’t think these stupid trees exist”.
“Octavius Coxcomb! You would doubt us?!”
The boys once again demonstrated their ability to imitate madagascan war cries, and ran round in circles a while until each unstoppable force met an immovable object and once again the boys adopted their now legendary heap formation. Amelia started walking in a circle around the boys, weaving in and out, so as to give the illusion of different trees talking.
“You come here seeking truth, and fight like children! You need discipline, not truth”.
“Please, Telling Trees, we’ve come all this way, and we’ve lost our sister, and we don’t know how to get home. We’re sorry we doubted you, please will you help?”.
“We will tell the truth, nothing more. One truth each. Who will go first?”.
“I will!”.
“Octavius, the eldest. The insecure, the bully. You have mistreated your sister all her days, and in return, you will feel the regret for the rest of yours. This is your truth! Who’s next?”.
“I…I’ll go next”.
“Quintus, the youngest. The liar, the thief. You stole your sister’s locket, and denied it when she asked. If you leave it with us when you go, she may yet forgive you. this is your truth!”.
“I think I’ll pass”.
“Septimus. The middle child. The daydreamer, the everlate. You are better than your brother’s taunts, and do not deserve to be tarred with the crimes of the liar. You will find your peace, in time”.
The brothers each exchanged glances and without a word, turned in opposite directions and began walking. None of them knew where to. Before he set off, Quintus took out a silver chain from his pocket, and carefully hung it on a low branch. He waited until he knew his brothers were out of earshot, and then said:
“I’m sorry, Amelia”.
Amelia heard the words, and smiled. Once Quintus was away, she retrieved the locket, fastened it back round her neck, and began walking, away from home. Another half hour and she noticed it was getting lighter again. It must still be daylight, and she was going the right way. She was full of hope as she marched, free of burdens, to her new life. So it took her quite by surprise to hear another voice.
“We will forgive you your deception, Amelia Coxcomb, because you were fair with your brothers, and you have a good heart. You will have a great many pages in your story before your final chapter, so long as you do not cross us again. This is your truth”.
